Twelve long years

They say we are from two different worlds

Taking difficult and bumpy roads

Along with the heavy loads

They also say we are like fire and ice

Side by side should just suffice

Together would even be nice

It was twelve long years ago

Having strong desire to know

About each other from head to toe

Two little angels came a long the way

Lighten up every hour of every day

So much more than words can say

Bless me God, bless my family

For it’s all I ever pray deeply

Ya Allah... God The Holy

Making Decisions, Not Dilemma

Wow…time flies!

It’s been a year now since I wrote my last note at my blog. Guess I am not such a committed writer after all… Gotta try even harder this year. No more excuses! Sometimes it’s easier to find excuses than to actually do the things you are committed to do.

I still have quite a list of some unfinished things I’d like to accomplish. I still haven’t decided on two biggest issues of my life that I’ve been facing for a while now, concerning my personal relationship and my career. What a dilemma!

Even though I’ve been trying to always be grateful for what I have and enjoying every moment life has to offer, back in my mind I have this huge burden - something that urgently needed to be solved…once and for all. I don’t think I will ever feel at ease if I haven’t decided on these. For other matters, I can be very decisive, sure, adventurous and positive. But now I’m not feeling like a strong choleric type of person anymore.

I think it’s also natural for people to fear for a change, of taking a risk, getting out of his/her comfort zone, and not knowing what lies ahead (hmm…sounds like I’m making more excuses for myself…) But the important thing is that you have the will to open up your mind for new ideas, digest and analyze it, then make a decision after having fully understanding of the consequences. No regret!

So, what is my first resolution for this year? Getting rid of my dilemma!

Welcome Year 2011!

Menghadapi tahun baru kali ini kok sepertinya tidak terlalu spesial seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya ya… Entah karena kesibukan dan rutinitas yang cukup padat, atau karena memang tidak adanya kesan yang mendalam dirasakan untuk pergantian tahun ini… Bagaimana pun juga beberapa peristiwa dan tantangan yang kuhadapi mengiringi berakhirnya tahun 2010 cukup menyita pikiran dan energi.

Sebagai seorang ibu bekerja, keberadaan si mba, asisten rumah tangga memang sangat dibutuhkan. Bahkan dengan adanya dua anak sekarang, satu mba saja dirasakan belum memadai. Minimal harus ada dua mba. Nah menjelang akhir tahun, sempat tidak ada mba sama sekali. Belum lagi faktor anak yang sakit dan suami harus operasi, akhirnya kepentingan pribadi harus dikesampingkan dulu. Acara ketemuan teman-teman kuliah, olahraga dengan alumni SMA, les dansa atau bahkan sekedar ngopi dengan kakak, terpaksa dibatalkan. Walau tidak ada penyesalan, tetap keinginan untuk memanjakan diri dengan kegiatan sendiri, hingga kini belum dapat terwujud.

Kalau boleh diambil hikmahnya, mungkin pelajaran berharga yang kudapat adalah mengenai kesabaran dan keikhlasan. Memang menjadi ibu adalah pekerjaan yang mulia. I think MOM is stronger than any super hero. Seorang IBU jaman sekarang dituntut harus bisa semuanya…ya, cari uang, ngurus anak, ngurus rumah, ngurus suami, tapi tetap up-to-date, ga ketinggalan trend, bisa merawat diri dan yang paling penting: tidak boleh sakit. Kalau pun sampai sakit, tetap harus bisa meng-handle semua tugasnya sebagai seorang ibu. WOW!

So, among all those things that we need to take care as a mother/wife, pergantian tahun menjadi tidak terasa dan tidak begitu penting. Because every minute is precious and the most important thing to me is that I become the best mother that I can be!

To all mothers out there: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011, enjoy another fascinating year as a mother…have a wonderful year!

Past, Present and Future (Part 1)

I believe that everybody has those significant moments when they think about their life. Sometimes we reminisce on our past. Other times we make plans for the future. And for so many times we talk about what’s going on at the present. It’s just the way it is.

I think the best way to live your life is by learning from your past, doing the best you can do in the present time towards your ideal future. However simple it may seem, lately I have been thinking a lot about the past…reminiscing those special moments…being so grateful to God but ended up longing for experiencing those moments again. I thought about how much accomplishment I have made so far, those big mistakes I have done and how I have learned and grown to where I am now.

I can’t say that I am proud about myself when thinking about my failures – or perhaps if I put it in a positive word – my challenges in the past. The one biggest challenge I would like to share here is on my love life.

When I was younger – up to before my college year – I used to think that I am a very good and idealistic person. I have never done anything bad or wrong. I was always doing the right things, being a good girl and making my parents proud. It seems like my life will always be this good and perfect, that I would live a balance and harmonious life forever. But that is not how real life goes. And later I have come to learn more about life and other people through my experiences in love.

Being an idealistic person, I also pictured an idealistic love life. What kind of man that I would fall for, and how our love would be – all these had been fantasized and planned in my head for as long as I can remember. I have rejected more than a dozen boys because I thought none of them met all of my criteria. I thought they are too childish, not smart enough and basically just so far away from perfect for me.

(to be continued in part 2…)

Positive Thinking

Is it always positive to think positively? I've learned that it may not always so.

As a child, I used to think that I’m quite optimistic and naïve. I tended to think that other people would have similar – if not the same – way of thinking; and that everybody’s living in their own perfect world. Thus I would always think positively and see the good sides in them.

And that’s exactly how I got into trouble.

People would see me as a nice and kind person. Sometimes even too kind and others would take advantage of me. As I got older I learned it the hard way that not all people are kind. In fact there are many bad people out there.

Having those positive and optimist thoughts, I had to face disappointments from families, friends and special someone. It turned out to me that they are not all as perfect or true to me. I also learned that not all people likes you and that’s fine. You don’t need to like them all, too. It’s really okay to make mistake(s) as long as you learn some positive outcome from it.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that being positive is important but more important is to be cautious and considerate in everything you do. This can only be done if you keep opening up your heart and mind, and never stop learning to broaden your horizons and knowledge and be wiser in making judgments.

Ten (little) Ways on How to be Happy

1.     Put a smile on your face

2.     Greet people

3.     Look at the blue sky

4.     Sing your favorite songs

5.     Have some ice cream

6.     Talk to a baby

7.     Watch a funny movie and laugh out loud

8.     Write down your accomplishments

9.     Think of how much you are blessed with good things

10.  Be with the one you love

Greatest Advice from My Parents

All of my life, I got lots and lots of advices from both of my parents. Some are just common sentences to me…few little advices and some more important advices such as on how to be me or how to live my life or be in the long-lasting relationships or even how to raise my children. But the two most remembered advices that gave major impact on me are these :

1.     It’s never easy to be a good person.

My parents would say it’s easier to be (or to be judged) a bad person. People often make mistakes and yes, it’s very human. But when you fail to keep your values, your virtues and start to make bad judgment, and even when it was only your one mistake, it would be hard to be the ideal you again and to gain trusts from other people. So the most important is to really learn from your mistake(s) and be better and wiser person.

2.     Do not rely too much on a person; rely yourself 100% on God the Almighty only.

People do need other people. But when you depend on someone too much; whether it’s your partner, your best friend, or maybe your parents, then you have to be ready to be disappointed, simply because they are only human. Nobody’s perfect and anybody can let you down. But when you rely on God, you believe that God will always be there for you and everything that happens to you has meaning. Just try hard, pray hard and let God do the rest.